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So, imagine being born with Cerebral Palsy
and rather than allowing this to limit your opportunity you seize your ability
and with the support of family you get on with life and find yourself becoming
a leader and advocate for your community.
Oh!, and if that’s not enough you happen to
be exceptional when kicking a ball for the Pararoos, Australia’s Paralympic
Football team.
Demonstrating, a wicked sense of humour and
determination Ben Roche’s story is truly one to remember.
Football is:
At what point did you realise
you were different to other kids at school?
Ben Roche:
The diagnosis, I guess came at
about two years old. That’s when my parents officially found out that I was really
one-sided in everything I did. My parents were always really open and talked to
me about it. Now I've met a lot of other kids with cerebral Palsy (CP) where their
parents would pretend it's not there, or they would nurture and mother a little
too much. My parents were a good balance. They taught me to embrace it and
understand it and know that it wasn't a negative thing. It was just that there might
be a few challenges along the way. So, I remember I had to wear a lot of splints
growing up. I always had stuff along my hands and my legs. I remember in
primary school, being taken out of class every day for physiotherapy and
occupational therapy and having to sit on a different type of chair and had a different
type of table and have slip mats and all this kind of stuff. That's when I was
like ah, okay, why is this?
These are things that I
don’t think schools or therapist would do today. So, yeah, for me the impact
was from a young age.
Football is:
How has cerebral palsy affected
your pathway into football?
Ben Roche:
Being born with cerebral palsy,
my early years were really, really important in terms of what I did for my body
in physiotherapy and occupational therapy. Football was an opportunity
obviously to be with my mates but a really good opportunity for me to improve
my body. So, I started playing when I was five or six years old, just through the
local team. I wasn't very good or anything like that, probably way too many
hand balls [laughter]. But for me, it was a really strong form of physiotherapy.
The weaknesses that come with cerebral palsy meant that my right side is very
weak which meant my right foot was quite weak. So, getting that across to local
coaches at a young age and getting a fair go on the field was quite difficult. I
was often left on the sidelines. There's a long point where I wasn't enjoying
it because of that. It was very much based off what I couldn't do rather than
what I could do. So, that was very, very frustrating and probably a driving
force behind a lot of what I do now.
Football is:
So, you’ve got some siblings,
haven’t you?
Ben Roche:
Yeah.
Football is:
So, within the family, it
sounds like you would’ve been treated like just any other kid, nothing special
and your parents just made you as normal as possible.
Ben Roche:
Exactly right. So, I’ve got
an older brother and sister. Yeah, they treated me no differently which I think
was really important. My parents and siblings are incredible
and a lot of what I've achieved has been from having such a good family to
support anything I chose to do whether it was career or football. Yeah, very
lucky.
Football is:
How do you feel having such
a stable family dynamic at home influenced your advocacy and ultimately you're work
to become a Pararoos and within Paralympics sports?
Ben Roche
Yeah, definitely. I think
it's a good mix of my parents teaching me to embrace it and normalize it. Then at the same time, it was my experience at local
football clubs and at school with bullying and some of the things I faced that
made me go ah, there’s people out there that don't get this. Still to this day,
I had an experience in local football recently where challenging one-on-one
with a keeper. When I run my arm’s in the air and he kept saying you’re elbowing
me. He was going on about me trying to take his head out, i was like MATE, I've
got a disability. I said watch me run, My arm’s in the air, I can't help it! When
I'm thinking about football, I can't help it! I gave him a couple of chances. I
said it a couple more times and he wouldn't let up, then he decided that, that
was a good time to call me a retard and use some sounds that were extremely outdated
and it was quite disheartening because I’ve been trying to advocate for inclusion.
I was so frustrated to know that was still happening and then I'm so frustrated
to know that I've got young kids that I play with on a regular basis in the
Paralympics programs that might come across that and they shouldn't have
to. It's just not good enough. I think when you hear things like that or when I
see things like that, that's when I know I've got a lot more I can do,
definitely.
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Football is:
So, at what point did you
decide to pursue the dream of playing football and then eventually representing
Australia?
Ben Roche:
Yeah, I think they came at
the same time because I was playing local football, I went on a family holiday
to Canberra and asked about athletics and what opportunities were available for
CP and we found out about football. This was in 2000. I got to watch the CP football
at the Paralympics in Sydney and there wasn’t a pathway for players in Victoria. So, I got a call from the head coach at the time and they
invited me up to a camp. Being surrounded by these insane footballers, that had
conquered tying their shoes and were now curling in free kicks and at the same
time, they were doing incredible things off the field as well that made me want
to pursue football. There were teachers, community workers, electricians and so
on. They hadn't let their disability stop them. For me, I learned that they
could live incredibly normal lives and yeah, achieve what they wanted to
achieve. So, that was my taste of it at 12 years old and no looking back really.
Football is:
Where was your first
tournament?
Ben Roche:
I went over to a tournament when
I was 13 or 14 to Argentina just to experience it and I was too young to play
but I got to be involved in a practice match at the AFA where there national
teams train. It’s something I’ll remember forever.
Football is:
From the point of view of
your career so far, what's probably your greatest achievement?
Ben Roche:
Footballing-wise?
Football is:
Footballing-wise, yeah.
Ben Roche:
In 2011 I had a really
strong tournament in one of our World Cups and I scored nine goals in six games,
four against Spain in one game to beat them 4-2 and we've never beaten them
before and that was a huge experience for me. I'm quite happy to tell people about
that obviously.[Laughter]. Look, you never
get over it. The experiences never get old. Wearing the Aussie colours is
always something you look forward to. I’m a week and a bit out from going to Argentina
now. So, you're visualizing the game, visualizing what might happen and how you
can best perform. You just want the opportunity to do that again and just play
the best you can.
Football is:
Yeah. What about off the pitch?
What's your greatest achievement?
Ben Roche:
I'm really proud of a lot of
things I've done. I have a young family that is really important to me. I couldn't
do a lot of what I do without them. I've been lucky enough to be nominated for Australian
of the Year that seems ludicrous. Nominations for awards like that makes me realize I'm doing the right thing and whether
one kid sees it and goes ah, cool, I can go and play football or I can go and
do whatever I want to do, then it's worth it. In 2015 the Australian Sports Commission cut
all our funding due to winning edge policy. We had to battle to get to a tournament in
England and we got there but it lacked preparation and obviously couldn't
really get the results we wanted and then last year about 12 or 13 weeks out
from our tournament in Denmark, we found out there was nothing in the budget
for us and that was in the same week that my daughter was born and in the same
week that I was moving from New South Wales to Victoria again.
So in that week we decided
to band together and I rang a friend who makes wedding videos and shoots really beautiful stuff. I really like his work and I was like what's the
chance you can get to Melbourne and make a video for me in the next three days
and he said yep, more than happy to do it and a couple of the players flew down,
we put this video together in two days, tried to make it look like as much of a
team as possible with three of us there and a few youngsters and with that
video, I sent it to the board members from the FFA, put it across social
channels everywhere, it got viewed over a hundred thousand times in different
ways and with that got the commitment from FFA that that they're there for us
to support the Pararoos. We just needed
to get a certain amount of money to get to Denmark.
So, with that video we were
able to raise $150,000 to get to Denmark in the 12 weeks and then once we got
to Denmark, again limited preparation, we won the games we needed to win, we
beat Spain in the opening game, followed up with the win over Japan and did
enough to qualify for Argentina this year and I think it was worth it and that
all happened in such a hectic time but I think it showed how important the Pararoos
are and some of the stories you hear from players like these guys are fighters. They've been through some absolute shit and they
don't let that stop them and we weren't going to let the Pararoos just stop
there. If we hadn't got to Denmark, that was us done for a couple of years. That
was the qualifying process so we had to make it happen and to me the Pararoos are
much, much more than just a team. It’s community, it offers more than football,
it's social, it’s financial, it’s physical, it's so much more. It’s the only team
sport available for some disabilities like cerebral palsy and acquired brain
injuries. So, it needs to exist.
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Football is:
Yeah, and I guess it's a
team that has all those different abilities in it.
Ben Roche:
Yeah, exactly right. So, we've
got players that have had massive accidents or falling from a cliff that had to
learn how to walk and talk and have come from being on life support to now
being incredible footballers and it's the same from players that were at the
gym one day and had a stroke. We recently had a young guy come into our state
program that 18 months ago he was playing NPL football and had a stroke and without
this program now, where would he be playing? So, there's got to be stuff
available. It's really important.
Football is:
Ben, you’ve had some pretty
varied experience outside of football. How did you start working with
illusionist and escapologist Cosentino?
Ben Roche:
So, in school,
I was doing a lot in the entertainment industry. I was working a lot in VET
music. I have a really big passion for music, live music, the sound, the
lighting, everything like that and I chose to go and study at Box Hill Tech and
I did a diploma of live production which touches on everything backstage
essentially, the sound, lights, designing shows, everything like that. So, I
was really passionate about that. I was working with a few local bands and
doing sound for their concerts and things like that and then Cosentino approached
the school. They were looking for students to come and help them out on a big
national tour, six-months around Australia and I was like yeah, on a tour,
that's exactly what I want to do. I want to travel.
It’s a really funny story
actually. So, it was a big deal to apply for the job. It really emphasized the
point at the fact that it was a physical job with lots of heavy lifting, you needed
to be versatile and be able to put the show together essentially. So, I was
like do you know what? I'll be honest with them and tell them about my cerebral
palsy straight up and a little bit about my football there. So, they rang me on
the phone like yeah, come in for an interview. So, I went in and I shook Cosentino’s
brother’s hand, Adam, and we just looked at each other. He's got cerebral palsy
too.
And I was just like ah, okay,
so they understand and they knew that I could do everything that they needed but
I just had different ways of doing it. So, the relationship really grew from
there. I started working backstage and doing a bit of sound to eventually doing
a lot more. I got my license in pyrotechnics and spent five years with them. I
travelled to Hong Kong and different places like that with them and around
Australia a couple of times from primary schools to theaters. We did everything.
Massive! massive. So, yeah, became really close with Cos and his brother and yeah,
I learned a lot from them. They're perfectionists and that was really good for me
to be around and that played a part in how I approached everything I did
outside of football.
Football is:
So, during that period, were
you also playing football?
Ben Roche:
Yeah, so, I was still
playing football. There are a couple of tournaments I chose not to go to because
I did want to grow my career. So, I probably took a year, two years away from
football which is what I needed to I think. Yeah, I needed that break from it.
I’d been doing it since I was 12/13. I was 18/19 by that stage and at a different
aspect of my life. I think when I came back to it again it gave me a better understanding
of how much I wanted to achieve in football.
Football is:
In one article you wrote, you
described yourself as a business manager, a husband and a father. How do you
juggle those different parts of yourself, when you're also an athlete dealing
with disabilities?
Ben Roche:
Yeah, it's full-on, very,
very full on. You've got to have a really supportive network around you because
not only are you training - right now I’m training about nine times a week in
the lead up to Argentina. That’s a lot of hours. On top of that, I work full
time. I've got two kids. My wife and I have a Wedding furniture and hire business
on top of our jobs as well as my ambassador roles with the Football Federation Victoria
and doing public speaking. It's tough. It takes commitment. There are many days
where you just go ah, I'm exhausted but it's looking after yourself so mentally,
physically and like any good athlete does, it’s putting the right things into your
body and getting a decent sleep when you can because that plays a big part. I
thrive when I'm under the pump. When there's 500 things thrown my way, that's
when I'm at my best, that's when I'm dominating in what I want to do.
Football is:
When you first met your wife
and I guess the question of cerebral palsy would’ve come up, how was that conversation?
Ben Roche:
Yeah, it's good question. Everyone
reacts differently. Everyone definitely reacts differently. I remember we were
in a taxi. It was like after our first date or something like that and I was
like ah, I'll just tell her and see how she reacts kind of thing and I was like
ah, just so you know before you kind of click - because I can hide it when I
want to -- but I just said I’ve got cerebral palsy and she was like, What’s that? She had no idea what it was
and I think that was a good thing in the end and I think that’s probably played
a big part in why we connected so well. That didn't matter to her. That's just
what it was. We joke about it now. Without me looking after my body, when I'm
older and I've really got to look after myself, she goes am I going to be your carer
when I'm older? I was like ah, I hope so. That’s why we work well together I
think and it’s funny now with kids. My son, he's five. We’ve started having that
conversation about what disabilities are and what's wrong with Daddy’s hand and
that's a really interesting experience. Probably when he was about three years
old, he goes just walking around the street holding hands, he’s like Dad, I
don't want to hold that hand. I was like okay, so, he's noticed it's a little bit
different and then even more recently we sort of chatted in a bit more detail
and you tell him, he goes okay then walks away. But I just want to make sure
he's very open to everything and I want him to be a kid that's completely
understanding of anyone and everyone. Where they're from or what they look like,
it doesn't matter. That's really important for me because there is good people
like that out there and although having crap experiences in school and things
like that, there was incredible people at the same time that treated you no
different.
Football is:
Ben, I was reading that
being able to do a simple task such as tying your shoe laces was a massive
achievement. So, I guess for you being able to tie your kids’ shoes is significant?
Ben Roche:
Definitely, yeah!, changing nappies,
really tough but I just say that so I don't have to do it.[laughter]. That's a
big part. Changing nappies, getting my daughter dressed and the little buttons that
are on jump suits and things like that, that’s huge, a huge thing. Even just
holding babies and having the confidence to do that, yeah, it's a really weird
sort of thought. But if I hold my child in my good arm, I feel helpless because
if something were to happen, if I were to fall, if I were to do anything, I've
only got my bad hand to back me up. So, that really played with my head. So, it
became about learning how to hold my boy, my little girl, whatever in my bad
hand so I could still accomplish things. It was just finding out how to do
things, years and years of physio and things like that growing up, to get the
fine motor skills, to learn laces and then we're still learning, I'm still
trying to work out what works best for me and if you spend a bit of time with
me and watch me do things, you go ah, that's how he does it all. Well, you
know, rather than just picking up a box, I use the back of my hand. I've got
different ways of doing things.
Football is:
And that would be different
for everyone?
Ben Roche:
A hundred percent. everyone
varies. Even players on the team, we have the same disability but the way
they're hand works is different again. It just really depends. It’s just
learning, constantly learning.
Football is:
You’ve very much become a
role model. What’s your message? What's the thing that you think is important to
convey?
Ben Roche:
It’s evolved from talking
about the disability in my experience to focusing on normalising attitudes towards
disability and that you can do what you want to do and just treat people fairly,
speaking up for what you believe in I think is really important. I think as I
grow that will adapt even more.
Football is:
Do you often meet people in business
who have a disability that is not a sport I suppose?
Ben Roche:
Yeah, I think particularly
CP can pick up on it really quickly when someone has it or something similar. I've
made the mistake of going up and asking people if they have cerebral palsy and they
want nothing to do with me but I'm constantly on a recruitment drive for
football and sports and whatever they want. Buy yeah, you do come across people
and you hear a lot of different stories and I think now in this day and age,
businesses need to be more inclusive and having a more accessible workplace
which a lot of businesses are doing right but a lot have a lot to learn. I was
lucky enough to get nominated for an award last week for the Victorian Disability
Awards. I was in an emerging leader category but you're in this room with
people that are just doing insane things. Another one called the Inspire Awards
where there are people that had shaped the city so it was accessible. There was
people that had advocated for human rights for
people with disabilities and there's people out there doing some incredibly
awesome things and I'm lucky enough just to share a room with them. So, if I can
take something from them and help share their message…
Football is:
Do you think we'll ever get
to a stage where we're not speaking about it as something different?
Ben Roche:
That’s a really good
question. No, I don't think so. I think in reality it's always going to be
there. I think it might just be focused on other areas. As we learn more about
disabilities I the focus will change. There might be another focus in ten years.
We might’ve achieved what we can in that space and then we go onto something
else. I think it's always going to be there. Yeah, definitely.
Football is:
If you didn't have sport
when you were younger, do you think your attitude to things or the way you've
done things might have been different?
Ben Roche:
I think it's played a big
part. I don't know what direction I would’ve gone in but I think it offered me
so much in my career, in keeping healthy and understanding the body. It offered
me so, so much. I'm scared to think where I'd be without it and the people I’ve
met because of it. Again, it's that community. There’s people I’ve played with since
I was 12/13 in the Pararoos that are still with me now and I never get sick of
hearing their story and hearing what they're doing because it pushes me further
and there's players in the team now that were born after I started playing the
team. It makes me feel old but that's exciting and I like hearing what they're doing
too and what their experiences were like growing up. So, I don't know where I'd
be without the sport. I think it's offered me more than just the game itself.
Football is:
Your ability as a leader is
apparent. Do you think that your resilience in day-to-day life has been a bit easier
because of the need for leadership in sport or are you just a natural-born leader?
Ben Roche:
I think if you look at my
dad and my mum, my dad’s a big leader. He spoke up for what he believed in and he's
always in jobs where he had to lead. I think I get a lot from him but I think
my first ever Pararoo’s coach said oh, you’re a leader. He always said that to
me but I think in myself it's probably in the last five or six years ago I need
to do more. If I want something done, I need to make it happen.
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Football is:
Do you think that, that's
partly being a dad and having the career outside‑?
Ben Roche:
Yeah, I think kids was a big
turning point. I wanted them to be proud of me. Yeah, definitely.
Football is:
If you were to speak to your
12 year old self, that little kid at 12 years old, what would you tell them now
knowing all the knowledge that you've got now?
Ben Roche:
Stop eating McDonald's as a
little 12 year old. [Laughter] work, work for what you want. Work hard.
Speak up. If you’re not sure, ask questions. I think embrace the
opportunity, be grateful for the opportunity. Yeah, just
work hard for it.
Football is:
Would you say don't let the
disability shape you?
Ben Roche:
Ah, hell no!. Yeah, don't
let it shape you at all and even when I speak to these incredible kids that are
now facing challenges in their schooling or whatever it may be whether it's
dating girls or just education in general the disability that doesn't come into
it. You focus on what you want and if you want something, you work for it and I
hope you get there if you want me to help you get there I will. Unfortunately,
I do speak with a lot of kids that struggle socially and might be struggling in
the department of getting a girlfriend or whatever it may be and I think it's
important that they know that it's okay and the time will come if that's what
they want. They put a lot of pressure on themselves. All their friends are
getting girlfriends or whatever it may be and I think it's just about learning
who they are.
Football is:
When you do go away, does
the family get to go often or is it a rare thing?
Ben Roche:
They came once to England
and my mum and dad got to come too and my wife and my little boy which was incredible.
Unfortunately, with Paralympic football is you use all your annual leave on
football so that takes away from the family. You put all your extra savings
into football. It's a huge commitment and I think a lot of careers end short
because of that, because they can't afford to keep doing that. Me and my
parents came over to England in 2015 and that was really, really special and we
looked at my wife coming over to Argentina but where we are, it's just too difficult.
Even just a month of work for me, it's a big ask and for her, that's at home,
the two kids for a month, running a business, working full-time. She's a machine,
she’s a machine.
Football is:
She sounds amazing.
Ben Roche:
She’s incredible.
Football is:
So, the kids, I guess one of
them would be much more aware of you going away the other is younger.
Ben Roche:
Yeah, I’ve got Quinn who's
five and Lennon who's one.
Football is:
So, Quinn, will this be the longest
period you're going to be away from the Quinn?
Ben Roche:
Yeah. So, I travel a lot
anyway for work and other football stuff. So, I think I've been on 40-odd
flights this year already. He's getting better and better with me away. It’s
tough. It is really tough so I think the longest he's probably gone is three
weeks without me. It’ll be the longest for Lennon. She loves when I come home each
day. I put the keys in the door, she's there straightaway. So, it's tough, it really
is tough and yeah, I mean again it's not like I'm getting paid to be there. So,
it's a passion.
Football is:
So, arriving at Melbourne
Airport after a longer trip and the family are waiting there for you -
Football is:
What comes to mind when you
see them?
Ben Roche:
I just can’t wipe the smile off
my face. It's the best. You've got jet lag on your mind, you just want to be
with them and I know I'm flying in quite late from Argentina so I'd get in at like
a 11 o'clock at night back to Melbourne. But I know they'll be there and probably
asleep but they’ll be there. Yeah, extremely grateful, extremely grateful for them
to allow me to pursue that sort of passion and just for supporting me and again
just the majority of what I do, I do it for them.
Football is:
Last question which is my
standard. Complete the sentence. Football
is…?
Ben Roche:
Okay. I think football for
me is probably very different to what it is for a lot of other people. I think
for me it was my community and my family. It was my physiotherapy, it was my
mental health, it was my social well-being. It shaped who I am and allowed me
to be where I am today. So, it was an all-rounder for me big time. Yeah, it was
more than just the game.
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